On the basis of Marshall Rosenberg's nonviolent communication (NVC) we design trainings that focus on connection, commitment and efficiency.
Participants learn essential aspects of verbal and non-verbal language, receive support in expressing themselves clearly and learn to understand others, even if they are less clear.
Nonviolent Communication (GFK) According to Marshall B. Rosenberg
Nonviolent Communication is a communication concept that was developed by Marshall B.Rosenberg in the early 1960s due to the American civil rights movements he was involved with and engaged in.
The GFK is based on the basic attitude of an appreciative interaction between people. It helps people to improve the flow of communication and contributes to peaceful solutions in conflicts, in all human areas. Empathy, which Rosenberg considers to be the basic prerequisite for successful communication, plays the most important role here. He believes that the form in which we communicate with each other is decisive in determining whether we are ready to develop empathy for each other and whether we can meet our needs.
The unprejudiced and honest interaction in non-violent communication focuses on the needs and feelings behind actions and conflicts.
FOUR STEPS ...
... OF NONVIOLENT COMMUNICATION
What can I perceive with my senses - see, hear, smell, taste, savour, touch? When we formulate an observation without evaluation, this is an important prerequisite for ensuring that our interlocutor does not immediately encounter resistance. If our counterpart contradicts us, it is useful to think about whether we have actually named an observation.
Emotions are indicators of whether our needs are being met or not. We should always remember that nobody can make us feel. Our feelings are neither good nor bad. Depending on how we interpret the situation, our feelings arise - we "think" our feelings ourselves...
All people have the same needs - but often not at the same time. Needs can be met in many different ways, although we often have a preferred strategy for meeting a need. The fulfilment of a need is independent of a specific person. And sometimes it is necessary to grieve when the preferred strategy is not possible at the moment. Then we can think about what our second best strategy could be?
A request differs from a demand in that a "no" can be accepted. The requests should be very specific and formulated for the present moment. Only in the "now" can our interlocutor act. Furthermore, it is very helpful if we formulate our request positively, i.e. we say what we want and not what we do not want. This increases the likelihood that we can meet our needs.
A conflict can be the cause of a stressful life situation, but it is not the only one.
- an important personal decision (separation? dismissal? relocation? move for health reasons?)
- the desire for a new perspective (in partnership, at work, in a team at work or in a sports club)
- Dissatisfaction with the way people deal with each other (conflict culture, use of language, distribution of tasks, bullying, sincerity)
- a crisis situation (loss of job, sudden serious illness, multiple burdens, burnout, change in family situation such as birth, children leaving home, retirement)
- depressive phases (recurring pain or discomfort from past events)
Empathic accompaniment is another helpful method of non-violent communication in addition to dispute resolution in the event of conflict. In contrast to mediation, it is very well suited for individuals, but can be used just as successfully for two-person relationships, groups or teams as a method of clarification.
In empathic contact, the coach helps you - alone or together - to gain access to your feelings, to what is alive inside you and to gain clarity about your concerns. On the basis of this clarification, you will independently develop your own solutions and as a result you will have a concrete action plan set out in writing. You will thus experience that you can find your own path to inner balance and strength.
In depressive phases, Empathic Support helps you to recognise and accept the unfulfilled needs that led to the painful experiences. You can direct your energy back to the present.
This process leads to relief, relief, change of perspective, relaxation and new joy of life.
This process is useful in all situations where we are angry with others or ourselves. Step by step it helps to get access to the underlying feelings and unfulfilled needs.
It is important to leave enough space for judgements and evaluations. Many people believe that GFK practitioners should not have judgements and that evaluations are undesirable. I do not share this idea.
AS human beings we need judgements and evaluations so that we can orient ourselves more easily. To train this off would deprive us of an important possibility to react. It would be helpful, however, if we were nevertheless aware that our thoughts and judgements are created by ourselves alone. No one else is responsible for this.
In "difficult" situations it is up to us to question the judgements and find out what they stand for? Which needs are not being met at the moment? And what is my feeling when this need is not fulfilled?
With the anger and guilt process we can answer exactly these questions and thus become capable of acting again to find sustainable solutions which can fulfill the needs of all.
In nonviolent communication we distinguish between four ways of reacting to a difficult statement by another.
The first two are usually very familiar to us: assigning blame to the other or assigning blame to ourselves. These reaction patterns do not usually help to create a constructive climate for discussion.
An empathetic attitude, with me and the other person, helps to defuse the situation and create a basis for discussion in which the fulfilment of needs and interests becomes possible again.